Tag: friends

I made a friend

How scary is it making friends as an adult? I think it might be the hardest thing we have to do. After a certain point in our lives, we’ve all had horrid experiences with people, bad friends, who have let us down or hurt us in some way, so letting someone new in? Terrifying.

I’ve recently moved and most of my old friends are an hour away, so I decided I must ensure I make a couple of friends who at least live in the area. I honestly pulled out the pre-school move of ‘Hi! Lets be friends’ and you know what, it worked! Something about being honest with your intentions means you’ll either get a good result or save any confusion (even if you do get slightly rejected).

Anyway, she’s fab, I’m so pleased I made a (for me) bold move and approached her. So if you know someone who is likely to be your friend, go ahead and just ask because they might just also be looking for a new best friend.

How have you made friends as an adult?

Making New Friends as an Adult

‘Hi!’

‘Hi! Let’s be friends?’

‘Best friends’

Simple. I would guess that most children have had this conversation and as a result a lasting friendship. Someone to do random stuff with. Literally pick a human and go on adventures together. It’s not quite so simple as an adult.

Having moved around a fair amount (Dorset – London – Edinburgh – Dorset – Barbados) in the last five years, I’ve learnt that making new pals isn’t as easy, but it is definitely not impossible. So here are my top tips for making friends as a grown up person!

  1. The best source of future friends are those with a common interest, so either work colleagues, people who have a common hobby or in a similar situation i.e. have children the same age. So make sure you talk to people at work in the lunch room and make sure you stay a little longer after classes or events.
  2. Be friendly, obvious I know. Offer out that you’re new to the area and don’t know loads of people, or if you’re not new, offer out that you would like some friends with a similar interest e.g. ‘Oh it’s lovely to spend time with someone (who has also got 5 children, who loves riding, who is interesting in make up or who cares about health and food etc.) would you like to go get coffee sometime?’
  3. Make note. Physically or mentally if you’re able. Remember people’s names, their kids names, their birthdays. Sounds a little much but people love to be remembered.
  4. Say yes. ALWAYS SAY YES. People often take a ‘no, I can’t tonight’ as a ‘I don’t want to be your friend’, if you actually can’t offer up a time you can.
  5. Don’t play games. Like all relationships the second you play games it becomes confusing. Just don’t. Be nice, be kind and treat others how you would like to be treated.
  6. Be brave. Taking the first move is always scary, but you’ll either learn or gain.
  7. Don’t take ‘rejection’ personally. If someone doesn’t have time to be your new friend, it may be because they are busy with their own life, or they are too caught up, it’s very unlikely to be personal. You’re better off just saying as aqantancies and trying with someone else.
  8. Finally, friends can come in a form you may not expect. Do not exclude someone as they aren’t a carbon copy of yourself/your sister/your old bestie.

These are the things I try to remember every time I move. It has done me quite good stead and I can happily say I have always managed to make friends and some have even lasted distance and moving

One final and very important point is that you do not need an army of friends, all anyone needs is a few reliable people that you can confide in, plan a fun day with and trust to have your back. Great if you have a super large group of gal pals, but in my experience this is just more drama!

Over and out! As always please follow my instagram (@harrietkristina) for more 🙂